How To Mediate A Divorce
KQED San Jose, Ca
If you have agreed to end your marriage then you need to know that you have choices when it comes to making your divorce final. Mediation is a good alternative to using divorce lawyers because it is usually cheaper, faster and you end up with an agreement that you have both been a party to. So we will look at how to mediate a divorce here.
You need to agree to Divorce Mediation
The first step in how to mediate a divorce is by agreeing to use a mediator! This is a voluntary process where both spouses come to the table and use an experienced mediator to discuss all of the relevant issues and agree the best way to settle everything.
When a couple has agreed to divorce they are not often on the best of terms. This is OK as long as you are willing to discuss everything with the help of a trained divorce mediator. What you do not want to do is to force your spouse into the mediation process. If you do this the sessions will not go well and you will waste valuable money and time.
Divorce mediation needs to be something that both of you want to do. You will both have to commit time to attend mediation sessions and you need to think about the costs and who will pay for what.
Be Organized and know what you have
OK so you have both decided that mediation is right for you. What is the next step? You need organization and to do some homework. You need to figure out what you have between you so that the mediator can assist you. Write lists of everything that you have.
Your lists need to be very thorough and include everything. Create a master list of all of your possessions and assets without thinking about whether they are yours or your spouses. Property needs to be included as well as vehicles, bank accounts, credit cards, personal possessions (jewelry, works of art, furniture, books etc) and any financial products.
It is also important that you have up to date information about your income such as payment slips, accounts from businesses owned, pension disbursements, any child support payments and so on. List your expenses too such as mortgage payments, loans, credit card payments, health insurance, food and utilities etc.
What do you want the Outcome to be?
You now know what you have so the next step is figuring out how you want to split these things. This can be challenging and you need to spend the right amount of time figuring out what is really important to you.
What is the minimum you will accept? There are likely to be some things that are not negotiable and others that are. You need to work out what your bottom line is here and the rest is negotiable.
Create a budget for what you will need in your life after the divorce. This will help a lot with all of the financial discussions.
Put your Children first
You will both still be parents after you have divorced. Divorce is usually really tough for kids so you need to show love and understanding. Think about your children’s future and what they will need. Education can be expensive so how will you pay for this?
A good mediator will always ensure that you take the needs of your children into consideration first. It is easy for too spouses to get lost in a discussion without thinking about their kids.
Choose an Experienced Mediator
This may seem obvious but you want to hire a mediator that has the right level of experience and knowhow to help you. Ask questions about their training and experience. We have the very best mediators to help you with your divorce so please contact us here and feel free to ask any questions that you have.
We sincerely hope that this article has helped you to learn how to mediate a divorce. If you have any questions please contact us here.
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